


The Winter Soldier's Discontent

by littleredridinghoody



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Domestic Violence, F/M, Kidnapping, No Romance, Not a Happy Story, Not a Love Story, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reader-Insert, Valentine's Day, dark bucky barnes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:33:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29296683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleredridinghoody/pseuds/littleredridinghoody
Summary: You are finally going on a romantic getaway with Captain America after three years of being together. But when a dark figure from Steve's past returns to his life, plans change and nothing would be the same.*Formerly Steve's Best Girl*
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, Steve Rogers/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first FF so bear with me. The impending doom of Valentine's Day and the quarantine crazies have brought this out of me. Bucky has no redeeming qualities. He's the bad guy and scary af.  
> Will be finished before Valentine's Day. Enjoy xx

“We still have a few days before we leave, why don’t you take a break from packing?” Steve asked from the bed as he watched you flutter about the bedroom grabbing every bikini and summer dress you had. “But I’m excited! I’ve never been out of the country before and it’s our first trip together! There's a lot to be excited about.”

In just a few days you would be blissfully happy. You’d be out of the cold and snowy city and warm in the sun for Valentine’s Day. You would get Steve all to yourself on a beautiful and secluded island in the tropics. This would be your third Valentine’s Day together… and you had a hunch Steve was going to propose.

The island would be the most romantic setting for him to ask you to marry him. He asked Tony for the use of it around Christmas and had been planning the trip ever since. The island once belonged to Tony’s father. “The most beautiful place on earth… Perfect for some romance,” Tony said with a wink. This would also be a break from working in the infirmary at Stark Tower and a break from constantly putting the Avengers back together.

You loved your job and you were great at it. That was how you met Steve afterall. He came in banged up after a mission and you both were smitten from the start. The same day you met him he asked you on a date and you both never looked back. That had been three years ago and just now you were finally going away on a romantic trip together.

Steve stood up from the bed and slinked over to you. “Is there anything you are especially excited about?” Steve asked with his hands on your hips. “I can think of a few more things to be excited about,” you said as you got up on your toes for a kiss. “Finally away from the cold… and I was personally thinking about some midnight skinny dipping,” you teased. 

That was all it took for him to start taking your shirt off and kiss delicately down your neck. Steve knew that was your favorite place to be touched. He was growing against you and you started to drift off into that wonderful place that felt like the world was made for only you two, but then Steve’s cell phone rang with a ringtone you had never heard before. 

Steve snapped into what you liked to call “Captain Mode” and rushed to grab the phone. “Tony, what is it?” He asked urgently. You couldn’t hear what he was telling Steve but you knew that it was serious. You didn’t realize how serious until the color faded from Steve’s face like he had just seen a ghost.

“We’re coming,” he said, ending the call. “We need to go to Stark Tower, now.” Steve said as he quickly handed you your shirt and grabbed for his shoes. He took a moment and grabbed your hands and said, “Bucky’s alive.”


	2. Chapter 2

The car was freezing. Steve must have forgotten how much you hated the cold and didn’t think to turn the heat on. Steve never got cold anymore. He was driving so fast you wondered if he remembered that you were human and not filled with Super Soldier Serum. If you guys crashed he could probably walk away but you didn’t have that luxury. 

Your mind ran in circles as you thought of what this would mean to Steve. His best friend was about to be back in his life. Bucky was the closest thing to family that Steve would have. It worried you momentarily, thinking about what that would mean for your relationship.

You had no one in your life. Not until Steve. He didn’t have anyone either. When you and Steve found each other you knew that you’d never be alone again and neither would he. Would things still be the same between you two?

Steve peeled up to the back entrance and started to run inside the tower. He looked behind his shoulder every few feet to make sure he didn’t outrun you to Bruce’s lab. Huffing and puffing from trying to catch up with Steve you arrived outside the doctor’s door. “This is it, it’s happening,” Steve said dazed as he grabbed your hand and walked in. 

Only Tony and Bruce were in the lab. “Where is he?” Steve said looking around the room for Bucky. “He’s in the exam room… Steve, he’s not exactly the same.” Dr. Banner said. 

“I know that,” Steve spat. “Think of what he’s been through! What they did to him! Where is he? We want to see him right now-” Steve started to say before Tony gently laid a hand on his shoulder. “Go alone for now..” Tony cautioned you both. 

With a kiss to your forehead he left into the exam room to see his best friend. Bruce was looking over his charts and you went to look over his shoulder to see the paperwork. Looking at the data all you could say was “How? How is this possible?”

“I’m not sure exactly how but it’s a doozy. He’s going to need some serious rehab.” Bruce said. “More importantly, we need to get over there and destroy that god forsaken base he came from. This could be our greatest advantage and chance over Hydra. I’m calling everyone in,” said Tony.

“Calling everyone in? What do you mean? Almost everyone is away for Valentine’s Day?” You questioned. Tony was already off making calls so Bruce took over for Tony. “This could be it. We could end Hydra. Everyone is needed… Even Steve.” He said to you gently. 

You understood that. If Steve was going though, so were you. You were about to speak up and get your medical kit ready when Steve came out of the exam room, teary eyed.

“He knows me. He remembers me, Y/N.” Steve said, rubbing his eyes. “He may not be all Bucky right now… But he is in there.” Steve sounded so genuinely happy it made your heart go soft. “Tony is getting the team together, we’ll leave in twenty four hours,” Bruce said, breaking the heartfelt moment. 

“I’ll get my kit together,” you said as you started to head towards the infirmary. “Not so fast, Y/N” Tony said as he came back to the lab. “You’re staying here with the other old guy. He needs to be looked after by someone we can trust. He can’t stay in the tower, that’s the first place Hydra would look for him… He needs to be secluded...” Tony started.

“I don’t understand,” you said looking at all the men in the room. Steve stood beside you and grabbed your hands. “I think what Tony is implying is that we need to get you and Bucky out of here to somewhere safe,” said Steve. “But I want to be with you! Bruce can look after Bucky,” you said to him. 

“They’ll need the Hulk for this, I’m sorry Y/N. You are more than qualified to take care of him and I’ll show you everything that needs to be done. It really isn’t very complicated,” Dr. Banner said. “Please… I would never ask this of you if it were any different situation... but this is Bucky we’re talking about. This could be the end of it all.” Steve said in his soft, low voice he reserved for only you. 

Of course you would do this. Not just for Steve but for the team. Another opportunity like this might never present itself again. “Then I think you should introduce me,” you said ready to meet the only other Super Soldier in the world.

The man on the exam table was nearly as big as the table itself. His torso was bare and he was covered by a sheet from the waist down. You almost gasped at how much he looked like Steve. He was built impossibly strong just like Steve but with deep, prominent scars. Every part of him was enhanced and deadly. The biggest difference between them was Bucky’s garish metal arm. Even in dim lighting you could see the shine off of it. It made you uneasy. 

Bucky didn’t look at either Steve or you but straight up at the ceiling. The man looked ragged with long hair and a hollow expression. This was not the James Buchanan Barnes from Steve’s old photographs. This was a different man entirely.

“Bucky… She’s here,” he spoke quietly. “This is Y/N. We are going to get you out of here and she is going to make sure you’re alright. I’m going to make sure they never touch you again. Then we’re going home, back to Brooklyn.” 

You walked beside the table to meet your new patient. “Hello James,” you said in a calming voice. Only then did his gaze snap towards you.


	3. Chapter 3

His stare was intense and curious. _This is Y/n?_ He thought to himself. Bucky didn’t know what to expect when Steve mentioned you but it certainly wasn’t this. For some reason he pictured a homely goodie-two-shoes. You were much better than that.

Bucky gazed at you up and down surveying what he could. _How did Stevie pull her?_ He could smell you before you even entered the room and it was heavenly. Now he was able to put a face… and a body to this beautiful smell. _If this was 70 years earlier she wouldn’t have even glanced at Steve_ , Bucky thought to himself. _She would be on my arm, not his._

He admired you with his face as unrevealing as stone. You were sure he already hated you but you had no idea how wrong you were. His thoughts of how lovely you were soon twisted into darker thoughts.

_This is what Stevie’s life has turned into. An American Hero, loved by all, loved by this girl most of all_. He thought bitterly. _In a different time, in a different place all that could have been mine. Instead my fate was a dark one. Tortured, experimented on, used as a killing machine. Not anymore, none of that shit._ Bucky thought. _Hydra will destroy them. There is no chance of them coming back. This time I am getting the happy ending. This time I’m going to get the girl._

Bucky only gave you a curt nod and held his metal arm out for Steve to take. “Thank you,” he whispered only loud enough for Steve to hear. _Thank you for her and so much more,_ Bucky thought. Steve’s heart burst and grabbed his friend in a hug. Bucky returned the embrace but kept his eyes fixed on you.

Within the last hour and a half your plans for your first romantic getaway were changed. No romantic, warm, beachy getaway for you and Steve. Instead Steve was going to save the earth again, and you were going to save his best friend. Steve deserves that much, you thought to yourself. They were going to take you to a cabin, deep into some snowy mountains… you hated the cold.

Dr. Banner had gone over all of the procedures and medications to give Bucky while Steve packed his bag and Jarvis made arrangements for everyone else to travel into the middle of nowhere to drop off you and James. 

After they took you guys to the cabin, Steve, Bruce, and Tony would fly to Europe and from there meet the rest of the team. No one knew how long they would be gone and that worried you, but this was the life you chose and you were ready to face it with grace.


	4. Chapter 4

The flight from New York took much longer than you thought it would. Thankfully Tony had someone go grab your suitcase from home that was filled with bikinis and dresses before take off. At least it had your toiletries, medications, and books. Another bag was brought to you filled with warm clothes from the tower, probably belonging to Nat. On the jet you curled in Steve’s arms as he played with your hair and kissed your head. _How long before we can do this again?_ You thought as he touched you gently. 

The sun was rising as you started to descend into what really was a winter wonderland. There was nothing but snow and trees as far as your eyes could see. It was more beautiful than you expected but also more eerie. The only snow you were used to was that of New York’s. This was so much more than that. You never knew there could be so much undisturbed nature and white all in one place. 

Bucky got out without so much as a jacket, shook Steve’s hand, and carried all the bags quickly towards the cabin. Buck didn’t even look back at them. You were freezing. Where even were you guys? Tony said it was best if no one knew exactly where you were… but this might as well have been Antarctica. 

Despite being wrapped into the heaviest coat you could find the cold air bit at you. Steve cupped your face in both hands and gave you a kiss goodbye. “Thank you, Y/N… I’ll make this all up to you. I love you,” he said. “Just come back soon, okay? I love you too.” With one last kiss goodbye Steve turned back to the jet and off they went. You watched them leave until you couldn’t see them in the sky anymore. 

The cabin wasn’t what you were expecting. It was an A-frame cabin with great, large trees around it. It looked like it hadn’t been touched since the 1950s or 60s. You found yourself really missing JARVIS.

The cabin was bigger than your apartment you shared with Steve in Brooklyn but still cozy. They had electricity from a generator, what looked like a record player, and a huge wood burning fireplace… but those were the only luxuries. The kitchen had appliances you thought might be as old as Steve, you had no idea how to work them. 

The dining area was small and there was a large worn couch in front of the fireplace complete with a fur rug on the floor in front of it. You assumed the bedrooms were upstairs or down the hall from the kitchen. You stood in the entryway not sure what to do with yourself.

Bucky got the fire going upstairs in your room and now he was working on the huge fireplace downstairs. You were thankful you wouldn’t be cold much longer. Awkwardness filled the cabin with thick unease. Neither of you had said anything to each other since being in the exam room. In fact... Bucky had never even said a word to you. 

His mechanical arm was working methodically to make the fire as big as it could get. You watched his arm with a held breath as it shone in the firelight. The only sound was the crackling fire. The silence was discomforting. 

Bucky stood and turned to you. You were used to being around a big and muscular soldier. Steve’s presence was comforting to you. But there was something tense and hiding about how Buck stood. 

“Take off your coat,” he said with his arm outstretched, almost demanding your jacket. You stood there frozen and unsure what to do. “Now,” he said in a low, stern voice. With fingers trembling you unbuttoned your jacket one small button at a time. Sweat was pooling under your arms and around your forehead. When did you suddenly get so warm?

Bucky was still standing with his arm outreached expecting you to bring him your coat. Slower than you realized you walked over to him and took your arms out of the sleeves and handed it to him. Once he had the jacket he turned and hung it up on the wall and turned back to you. You felt silly that you were being so timid. 

“I put your bags in the bedroom on the left upstairs. You go and unpack while I put the food and MREs away,” he said walking to the kitchen. It seemed like he was perfectly in his element and that bothered you. Nothing about this was very normal and you barely knew each other. You walked up the stairs and every single step you took made a loud creak in the wood. 

Upstairs was a small hallway with bedrooms on either side and a bathroom at the end of the hall. The A-frame made the ceilings narrow. You’d have to be careful on the bed. If you sat up too fast your head would smack the ceiling. As you unpacked you thought mournfully about how you and Steve should be on a beach right now…


	5. Chapter 5

He could hear your small footsteps above the kitchen. Almost pacing the tiny room as you put things away. Bucky quietly laid on the kitchen floor and loosened a board underneath the cabinet. _This will have to do,_ he thought as he placed a small bag inside the dark space. Bruce shouldn’t have kept sedatives in such an accessible location in the exam room. It was almost too easy for Bucky to take it. 

You were still upstairs when he finished unpacking the food. Bucky went to sit on the couch as far from the fire as he could. It was too warm. He would unpack later as he didn’t have much. Or need much for that matter. Bucky stared at the fire and began to create a plan.

Steve and the others would be dead before the generator would run out of gas and the food would run out. For the rest of the winter he would have to chop wood for the fire and hunt in the forest for game. They could melt snow for water and bathing. Maybe in the spring when the snow thawed he could take you and find a new place… but for now, the cabin would do just fine. 

Upstairs you were done unpacking and tried not to sulk. You knew this was the life you signed up for by dating an Avenger and being a nurse. It still hurt. You missed Steve more than anything. Unwillingly you grabbed your medical bag and headed downstairs to tend to Bucky.

He was sitting as still as a statue staring into the fire. His eyes fell on you when you came to the bottom of the stairs. “Medicine time,” you said trying to sound cheery and holding up your kit. 

James didn’t say anything but removed his shirt so you could do your care routine. Him shirtless made you a little flustered and shy. You’d seen almost all the Avengers without shirts on when you tended to them. You remembered stitching up a wound on Thor’s giant chest and what a baby he had been about it. Why was being around Bucky so different?

_Probably because he’s killed people with that body,_ you thought. It chilled you. Sitting on the couch next to him you almost didn’t want to even touch him. There was something unpredictable about him, like a stray dog you didn’t know if they would be friendly or bite you. 

Chiding yourself you pulled out your stethoscope and listened to his heart. The beating was louder than you expected and it gave you a little jump. He was so cold too. Even colder than Steve and you had no idea how that was possible. 

You went about your work as methodically as you could and tried to touch him as little as possible. When you were done you handed him back his shirt and averted your eyes until he put it on. 

_Why so shy, doll?_ Bucky thought. Your reaction interested him more than he expected. _Were you this shy with Steve? Or did he get every part of you to himself?_ “I’m going to chop firewood.” Bucky said and immediately got up and headed outside. 

He didn’t close the door behind him and the cold was unwelcoming. You went to shut it and then went up to your room for some alone time. You grabbed one of your books and laid on the bed appreciating the small fireplace and how warm you were getting. 

Outside Bucky found an axe in the small shed and went into the woods to find a dry tree to bring down. He had gone almost two miles into the forest when there was a large clearing in front of him. 

It was a huge lake. It was completely frozen over with a thick pile of snow on top. Buck was pleased to have found it. _When it thaws, Y/N can wash clothes here, we can drink from it, and we can skinny dip together in it,_ he thought delightfully. It was still early in the day and the sun peaked in through the trees. “Let’s see just how reclusive this place is,” he said out loud and he could see his breath in front of him.


	6. Chapter 6

You woke up and it was dark outside. The little fire in your room had burned away and you were cold and hungry. Despite being awake all night at the tower and on the jet, sleeping for a whole day wasn’t like you and you were concerned how you would get to sleep tonight. It was past time to check James’ vitals so you wrapped a blanket around yourself and went downstairs.

The fire was roaring downstairs and much to your surprise James had made dinner. Soup was already on the small table as well as a heel of bread. Bucky came out of the kitchen with two glasses of dark liquid in his hands. “It’s not much. But I thought you would be hungry,” he said, sitting down and putting one of the glasses by your bowl. 

“I am hungry. Thank you, James,” you said politely. “I’m sorry I slept all day. That’s not usually like me. I must have been tired.” Sitting down you apologized for your absence today. Bucky didn’t say anything to acknowledge it and went to eat his soup.

You both finished supper and Buck slid your glass closer to you. “Drink with me,” he said in the same voice he used to ask for your coat earlier. It wasn’t an offer. He clearly expected you to do as he said. 

“I don’t really drink very much… And I thought you couldn’t get drunk anymore? At least Steve can’t,” you said trying to start a conversation. He looked at you almost annoyed. “I can’t, but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the taste. This whisky is older than I am,” he said.

When you still didn’t reach for your drink he pushed it to the edge of the table and with a curt voice said, “Indulge me.” You hated the taste but didn’t want to be rude and have him drink alone. This certainly couldn’t turn into a nightly thing, you were such a lightweight. 

After a few sips you started to feel warmer and pulled the blanket off of you. “Come sit by the fire with me,” he was already standing up and walking to the couch when he asked. Dutifully you followed and sat at the opposite end from him.

The fire and the whisky were filling you up and you began to grow tired. All you wanted to do was close your eyes but that was silly- you slept all day. With your glass half empty you put it down on the ground and snuggled into the couch. Not even a minute later you were passed out. 

Bucky put his own glass down and stood over you. He lifted one of your arms and let it drop. “Lightweight,” he said to himself shaking his head. He thought it would surely take two spiked drinks to put you down. Buck made a mental note of that for next time and crept up to your bedroom.

Only one of your suitcases was unpacked which he thought was odd. He opened the second bag and was pleased with what he found. It was mostly filled with dresses and the smallest bathing suits he had ever seen. He kept digging around and found some very revealing lace lingerie. It made him angry… but it made his dick twitch at the same time. All of this was for Steve, like he had any idea how to please you or what to do with you. 

_Who else had you worn these for?_ Bucky tried not to care but the anger flushed through him. He was getting hard thinking about you dressed for him in any of these. The anger subsided when Buck realized from now on it would all only be for _him_. He was extremely excited. 

Bucky grabbed the pieces that interested him and brought them to his room. He tucked everything away in a drawer and went back to surveying your room. In the nightstand he found something unexpected. “Birth control? Steve let you take this shit?” Bucky said disgustedly. He crumpled the package in his hand and threw it into the fireplace of your room. He threw some more logs on and started as fire he watched it burn in the flames. 

The next thing he took was your medical bag. You wouldn’t be giving him anymore checkups or medicine again. All the drugs that Banner was having him take dulled his senses… and killed his sex drive. Bucky was determined to start a new life, one that he deserved, and it sure didn’t involve either of you taking medication. 

He took the medical bag and went back out into the woods to bury it. It might be useful one day so he didn’t want to burn it. What if you Y/N got sick? It’s not like there was anything in a 10 mile radius that could help you if you got ill. 

He dug the hole with his mechanical arm and threw the bag into it. Bucky was eager to walk back to the cabin excited to see you. The thought of smelling you and being consumed with you until morning was making him hard again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song featured in the chapter tormenting the reader is "Run Rabbit Run" by Flanagan and Allen if you're interested in listening while reading.

You woke up still in the clothes you were wearing the night before. It was kind of dark outside and you weren’t sure if it was morning or evening. Either way it was past time to check on James. 

Sitting up made your head spin. You hadn’t even drank the whole glass of whisky, how could you be this hungover? Even for you that seemed strange, but it had been months since you drank last.

It took effort to get your feet off the bed and when you stood up you fell straight to the floor. Your strength had left you. You were thirsty as could be and your mouth was dry. You were also so hungry. When was the last time you ate?

Bucky had waited _all day_ for you to wake up. He was ansty as hell and about to wake you up himself when he heard you tumble out of bed. Bucky went to the record player and got his song queued up. “Show time,” he said, smiling. The anticipation was almost too much. 

A noise you weren’t expecting reminded you of your duties to James. He was downstairs playing an old timey record that was extremely loud. Was he okay? You hated the old music so much but you thought you recognized the song. You desperately need to get to James now.

Where was your medical bag? You thought you put it back upstairs but you must have left it in the dining room last night. The sky outside was growing darker and it scared you that you had slept all night _and_ day. 

You reached into the nightstand to check the time on your phone. You found it completely empty. Where was your phone!? Even if you had no reception you still felt the need to have your phone in hand. But more than that was missing… Where were your birth control pills?

You must have not unpacked it… You definitely weren’t yourself since you got here. Sad thoughts of being on the beach with Steve filled your head and you searched your suitcases for your pills and phone. 

The bag you didn’t unpack seemed lighter when you picked it up. That struck you as odd but what was even stranger was when you opened it and half the contents were missing. The most alarming thing missing was your Valentine’s Day lingerie you planned to wear for Steve.

A wave of nausea combined with fear hit you. Bucky had been in your room. He had gone through your things. This wasn’t normal, this wasn’t okay. You stood on shaky knees and went for your bedroom door. Panicking you turned the lock and were grateful for it but you knew a tiny lock would never keep a man out, especially a super soldier. 

Downstairs Bucky was finally ready for you. He cranked the volume as high as it would go and sang quietly along with the song. “Run rabbit, run rabbit, run run run.” Bucky hated the song when he first heard it in the 40s but now it was beautiful to him.

He was about to get Steve’s best girl and it thrilled him. Silently but quickly Bucky climbed the stairs two at a time and stood in front of your door. He knocked upon it with his flesh hand and heard you gasp over the music. 

You rushed to the window and saw that more snow had fallen and covered most of the front door. Could you jump from this high? Was the snow soft or hard? You opened the window to see how cold it was outside… It was freezing and you knew the temperature would drop even more once it was fully dark. 

Fear paralyzed you, unknowing what to do. Bucky had taken your jacket yesterday and it was the only chance of you being warm enough to survive if you jumped and ran into the woods. “Open the door, doll.” Bucky yelled from the hallway. It was hard to hear him over the taunting song. 

He began to rattle the doorknob and it scared you enough to gather some courage and throw yourself out the window. You landed deep in the hard and unforgiving snow. The snow was so cold and wet and sharp… Was your arm broken? It didn’t matter. You sat up and began to claw your way out of the hole you were in. 

You could hear Bucky screaming from inside and the next thing you knew the front door flew open. He pushed through the snow with ease just as you were standing up to run. Your strength was still failing but you tried your best to crawl away. You barely made it a foot when his hand clasped around your leg and pulled you towards him. 

The scream you let loose was ear piercing and disrupted the silence of the forest around you. You screamed at the top of your lungs and clawed at the heavy body on top of you. Bucky was shouting something but you couldn’t understand it between your screams, the music, and snow in your ears.

He was heavy on top of you and pushing snow out of your face. Bucky grabbed you by your shirt collar to bring your face next to his. Bucky was _mad_. You had seen Steve angry before, especially after missions. You hated when he got like that but he always went back to being normal Steve. This was different though, Bucky scared you into silence. 

It was fully dark outside but the moon reflected in his eyes and his rage scared you. “Stop fucking moving,” he said right in your face. He never planned for you to jump out the window and you were already running his fantasy. You began to fight again and he shook you so hard your teeth rattled. 

“Stop. Fighting. Me.” Bucky said through gritted teeth in between your struggles. He got a hold of the arm you thought might be broken and yanked you up to your feet. _Oh god, my feet, oh god oh god_ , your thoughts raced. You couldn’t feel them at all. 

You fell again and Buck began to drag you back into the cabin. When you squirmed too much for him to drag you by the arm he grabbed a first full of your hair and pulled. Babbling and screams came out of your mouth as he dragged you inside. “Please, James! Please stop, please let me go, let me go!” You said between desperate breaths. 

Bucky threw you down roughly on the fur rug in front of the fireplace. Once more you began to cry and crawl away but his strong metal hand wrapped around your ankle and dragged you back once more. He placed a hand on your neck and pushed you flat on the ground. His metal hand felt cold on your collar bones. “If you move, you’ll regret it.” James said with promise in his eyes. 

Your entire world changed in less than five minutes. You had never been that scared of another human being before. _Was Bucky still human? Or some monster unknown?_ The song continued to taunt you. The ringing in your ears unsettled you.

_“Run rabbit - run rabbit - Run! Run! Run!  
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!  
Goes the farmer's gun”_

The record began to skip and he leaned over and removed the needle from the record. It was silent again but you could still hear your heart beating fast.

As slowly and carefully as a tiger stalking its prey he began to crawl on top of you. Never blinking or breaking eye contact with you. “James… please,” you managed to squeak out. Did he even hear you?

You moved your hands to his chest and tried your hardest to push him away. The effort was futile. “James... Bucky, please don’t. Think of Steve,” you said trying to bring him out of this trance. He chuckled at you. 

“You think Steve’s coming back? No, doll. There’s no way any of them are coming back alive. Did you ever stop to think how easily I was found? Like someone _wanted_ me to be found. Funny how every single Avenger went to take down Hydra, huh?”

A new and terrible fear hit you. Fear for Steve, the team, and fear for yourself. You began to sob and the sound was unbearable with your throat still being so dry. “Don’t cry, my girl,” James said shoving your tears away with his strong mechanical arm. “You’re gonna make me feel so good,” he said pushing your feeble hands out of the way.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your media consumption is your responsibility. Please consult the tags and warnings before reading.

Bucky was kissing down your neck… Right where Steve used to kiss and make your knees go weak. You shut your eyes as tight as you could but still felt fat tears fall onto your cheeks. “ _No_ ,” he growled and moved a hand to your face to force your eyelids open.

“You don’t get to go away inside. You’re going to look at me. I _want_ you to see the things I’m going to do to you,” he said prying an eye open. You thought your eyeball would pop out. Without breaking eye contact he ran his flesh hand down your body till he reached the band of your pants.

Fear drenched you in sweat and you thought of Steve. _I’m so sorry Steve. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more,_ your thoughts screamed at you. Thinking about Steve lit a fire inside you and gathered together your wits and your courage. “Steve is going to kill you. And I am going to laugh,” you said as deadly as you could. You meant it with all your heart.

He removed his hand from your pants to slap you squarely across your face. The slap stung and made your ears ring. You’d be looking at a handprint on your face for days. Bucky was still on top of you with anger flowing through him. _Fucking bitch,_ he thought. How dare you ruin this for him.

For good measure he slapped you across the other side of your face and now your lip started to bleed. “You think Steve would even want you after what I’m about to do to you? I am going to _devour_. Piece by piece,” Your focus was blurred from the second slap and Bucky grabbed your face to look you in the eyes again. 

With his free metal hand he ripped your pants from you so hard that the fabric burned your skin. With no hesitation he plunged two digits into you which burned in a whole different way. Unwillingly you let out a cry and fought against him.

Easily he held you with one arm and violated you with the other. Pulling out of you roughly he placed the metal fingers deep into your mouth and you began to choke. Once he thought you had enough he ripped the shirt from you in the same fashion as your pants. The ripped fabric seared and made a dent into your flesh. 

Bucky shed his own shirt and pulled his pants down. Without hesitation he dove deep into you. It was slow and more painful than anything you had felt before. It hurt more than falling out the window… it hurt more than the slaps. You were too dry to accommodate him. 

He rutted inside you and made a sound you were sure wasn’t humanly possible.  
“You’re going to come for me. You will shout and scream my name,” he said grinning. You were positive that would never happen until he brought his mechanical fingers to your core.

His fingers began to _shake_ and you started to quiver. Bucky’s hand felt better than any vibrator you had known. As your back arched in unwilling pleasure his mouth contorted into a horrible, twisted smile. “Could Steve make you do this? Could Steve control your body like I can?” Bucky demanded an answer but you couldn’t form words. 

Your lack of an answer upset James and he removed his hand from your core to the base of your throat and started to squeeze. You clenched down around him and he let out another inhuman moan. The harder he squeezed, so did your walls around him. 

You stopped screaming and made grunts of discomfort every time he drove into you. Soon he was going faster than Steve ever had and spilled himself deep inside you. Bucky collapsed on top of you with a satisfied grin and said, “I could do that all day.”


	9. Chapter 9

The sun started to rise and you couldn’t believe you made it through the night. The fire had gone out at some point and you were cold again. Even caged in Bucky’s arms he didn’t offer much body heat and every time you tried to move away from him his arms tightened around you. 

You were laying on the fur rug covered in bruises, dirt, dried tears and sweat. Not to mention the layer of grime that was Bucky releasing in you and on you. If you could cry more tears you would have you but you were dehydrated to the point you would have given yourself an IV of fluids if you could. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” Bucky said, kissing the top of your head. You had no idea he was even awake and it restarted deep fear in you. You thought a moment earlier you couldn’t be more broken. Tut then it registered to you that this wasn’t where you were supposed to be.

The arms wrapped around you were supposed to be Steve’s. It wasn’t a possibility for you to consider that he was dead. Steve would never let that happen or let you be alone. He promised that to you when you first started dating. Steve would _always_ come home. 

Reluctantly, Bucky released you from his hold and stood up. Looking down at you he seemed pleased with what he had done. “Come on, Y/N. We got a lot to celebrate today,” he said motioning for you to stand.

You couldn’t move. There was nothing to fuel you or motivate you into standing. “Up!” Bucky ordered and pulled you by the arm. Realizing you couldn’t stand he grew concerned. “Oh my girl,” he started to say. “I may have forgotten how delicate women can be… You stay here.” 

Now he was concerned? Where was this worry for your health last night? He came back quickly with a glass of water and a piece of toast. Buck sat you up and brought the water to your lips. You _hated _his help but knew you needed it.__

__After finishing your water and food he scooped you up into his arms like a husband brings his bride through the threshold. Up the stairs you went hearing the loud creak with each step. Bucky opened the door to his room and laid you on the bed._ _

__“Don’t move. You’ll regret it if you move,” he warned. When he left you heard the bathtub running and held false hope he would leave you alone in the bathroom. Moments later he came and scooped you up again, depositing you into the tub._ _

__Slowly and surprisingly gentle he started to wash you. Pouring water over your hair and taking soap to your body. “I know this isn’t what you thought would happen,” he said running warm water over you. You didn’t dignify him with a response._ _

__“But today is going to be special. It’s the first day of the rest of our lives,” Bucky whispered. Shivers ran all over your body. You felt sick. “As long as you do what I say… You’ll never have to fear me. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.” Bucky said with his flesh hand on your cheek._ _

__“Something bad already happened to me though, Bucky. _You_ happened to me.” The words just fell out of your mouth and you had no intention of angering him more today. His grip on your face tightened and he pushed you beneath the water and held you there. _ _

__Your nails clawed at his arm as water filled your nose and mouth. He brought you back out eventually and you coughed and gasped for air. “No, doll. You have no idea how bad I can be,” he said. One you regained your breath he ripped you from the tub and dried you off. His anger seemed to calm as he brushed your hair out and put clothes on you for the first time in what felt like forever._ _

__“This is what we’re going to do. We will go downstairs, have a nice breakfast, and you will behave. If you do, I’ll be good to you. If not… Well, you’re going to have a very bad day.” Bucky explained. You bit your tongue and he guided you downstairs._ _

__The rest of the morning was spent with him attempting to cook pancakes. He placed you in the dining chair and told you not to move. The pancakes were awful but you had to eat them anyway. Secretly you hoped they would make you sick. Throwing up on Bucky would make you very happy._ _

__He allowed you five private minutes in the bathroom and he waited outside the door the whole time. When you opened the door he held out a bundle of lace fabric to you. Your heart dropped to your stomach. It was the lingerie you were going to wear for Steve._ _

__“Put it on. Or I can put it on for you. Your choice,” Bucky offered. Tears were welling up in your eyes again and he got annoyed. “Fine. I’ll do it for you,” he said, rushing you and grabbing at your clothes. He would rip everything you had at this rate._ _

__“No! No, no, please. I will do it,” you said to his satisfaction. He held up his metal arm and extended one finger. “You have one minute. Then you’ll come to the bedroom,” he said turning towards his room._ _

__Humiliation burned through you again and you couldn’t get Steve out of your head. There was no window in the bathroom to jump out of this time. And nothing of use in the cabinets. Bucky would get you before you would ever have a chance to escape._ _

__Dragging your feet you went into Bucky’s bedroom and saw him standing at the foot of your bed with something very familiar in his hand. Your phone. “Let’s get started, shall we?” Bucky asked, pointing the phone’s camera towards you._ _


	10. Chapter 10

Bucky could see the confusion on your face and smiled. “Most of this new technology I hate. But I see the benefits of a digital camera,” he said snapping his first picture. “We never had anything like this. It’s an instant, endless way to capture memories and we’re about to make quite a few.”

You raised your hands to cover as much of your body as you could. Bucky tisked at you. “Why would you ever want to cover that body? You’re beautiful, doll. Truly stunning,” he said with the camera in your face. “They didn’t make girls like you back in my day. Do you know how hard I would have had to work to get a girl in an outfit like this?” Bucky spoke as he took close up pictures of your chest and ass. 

Once he was satisfied with the images Bucky ordered you on the bed. You could see him growing hard in his pants. He didn’t make a move to undress but got on top of you. He began what you thought was an examination. 

He looked deep into your eyes, twirled your hair between his fingers, cupped your breasts with both hands. You held your breath nearly the entire time he was touching you, trying not to squirm. James’ hands traveled down your ribcage and grabbed you at your hips so tight it hurt. You would have more bruises to add to your collection. 

“Fuck, doll,” he said pushing his erection into your hips. “You’re gorgeous. How much time did you waste on Stevie? I bet he never truly got you off,” Bucky said now grabbing at your thighs and pushing them apart. 

Steve was the last thing you wanted to talk and think about. You supposed he didn’t really want an answer because his eyes were lost staring at your center. With a devilish grin he pushed aside your panties and placed his metal hand where he knew he could control you. 

“Don’t fight it. Let me make you feel good,” Bucky cooed. The result was instant no matter how hard you tried to fight it. Your eyes started to roll back into your head and you pressed yourself harder against him. The vibrations of his hand were like a spell cast over you. 

So lost in stimulation, you didn’t feel him take his pants off and he poked at your entrance. Trying to form words you muttered out a helpless “no,” but he paid you no mind. You were prepared to take him this time and you could feel how wet you were. 

He quickened his pace and soon he was driving into you at a relentless speed. Pulling out of you he grabbed you by the waist and flipped you on your stomach. Bucky pulled your panties off and brought you up to his cock. Hee relentlessly pounded into you from behind. 

It was too deep and he kept hitting inside you uncomfortably. That’s when the tears started coming. He didn’t notice for a moment and when he did he got mad. Placing his magic fingers back to your center he jackhammered into you. 

You doubted that you would be able to walk after this. Steve had incredible stamina and could go for hours… but he knew that you couldn’t and would give you breaks and care. There was no stopping with Bucky. 

Unexpectedly he pulled out of you and flipped you back over. Bucky was still on his knees and lifted your waist up all the way up to his face. His tongue began to devour you with greedy kisses and licks. 

The gasp you let out was involuntary but he loved it all the same. You hated how good he was at this… how skilled he was. Your legs kicked, your body twisted and you screamed. Pleasure overcame you and you twitched around Bucky’s mouth. 

He dropped you to the bed and grabbed your phone. This time you thought he was taking a video. “See how you moaned for me? You liked it so much,” Bucky said, moving the camera to your sweating face.

Buck propped the phone up on the nightstand and pushed himself back into your body. You were still coming down from your orgasm and fluttered around his cock. Going into you as deep as he could he let out another of his inhuman moans. Bucky continued pumping into you until you could feel his seed drip down your thighs. 

His heavy body fell on top of you and he nuzzled his face into your hair. “You were made for me to fuck you, Y/N.” Bucky breathed into your ear. You were just starting to regain some comfort when he was ready for round two. “I bet you can do that for me again,” James grinned and he slid back into you.


End file.
